a one-of-a-kind, research-based, 10-week online group coaching program that is designed to help you tap into a sense of play, pleasure, and possibility while exploring your gender
Week 1: Master Your Mind
You sometimes feel like you want to take your skin off and leave it somewhere. Simply existing feels hard and you don’t feel at ease in your own skin. So let me ask you, “would it be ok with you if your life got easier?” Tap into self-love and self-compassion and give yourself permission to feel calm, confident, and powerful right now.
Week 2: Unearth Resiliency
Transitioning your gender can be an overwhelming, confusing, and anxiety-provoking process. Discover innate resiliency/flexibility/adaptability, address common sources of anxiety, and discover science-based coping skills that work at each phase of transition. Explore concepts and language related to gender identity and expression.
Week 3: OWn Your Magic
Intense self-reflection, experimenting with identities, expression, new sexual and relationship skills, desires, and new ways of being in the world is often a daunting task in a world that doesn't always validate or support our various, intersecting identities. Learn to ask good questions and challenge limiting beliefs that will help you actively explore and engage with yourself in new ways to create harmony between your identity and how you express yourself in the world. Find the things that bring you pleasure, make you light up, and make you feel most like yourself.
Week 4: Unlock your Erotic Mind
Many people experience physical, emotional, and mental barriers to eroticism and feel blocked in this area. Discover normalizing, empowering, and practical tools that gives you permission, inspiration, and skills to tap into your eroticism no matter what barriers you’re facing.
Week 5: Pleasure Yourself
Folks often feel disconnected from their own bodies and isolated from others as a result of gender/body dysphoria, systemic oppression, trauma, pain, relationship issues, anxiety, etc. Learn to mindfully connect to pleasure with your 5 senses in order to get re-connected to your own body and learn skills to connect to other’s bodies in ways that feel safe, consensual, and pleasurable.
Week 6: Queer it up
We put pleasure, eroticism, intimacy, and sensuality in a tiny box when we only reserve these words for romantic and sexual relationships. Learn to “Queer” ideas about intimacy as reserved for monogamous, heterosexual, committed relationships in order to expand their meaning beyond sexual and romantic relationships as a cornerstone of being able to use this energy as connection and inspiration.
Week 7: Create space
Transitioning one area of your life sheds light on the other areas that could use some upgrades. Learn to bring intentionality to all areas of life to create space for growth and change. Fuck the glass ceiling. Take up space. Put passion and energy into the things you care about, regardless of the outcome.
Week 8: curate Kinship
Making a huge transformation in your life can feel isolating, especially when that transition isn’t always supported by the larger culture. Learn ways to find and cultivate relationships and community that feels like a chosen family-people and spaces that have your back and where you can bring all the parts of you and be affirmed and celebrated. Start with this program.
Week 9: Cultivate Pride
That shame monster is real! Many people struggle with internalized shame/that feeling of never being enough and being too much at the same time in some way well into the transition process. Move towards identity integration and pride-unpack internalized shame in identity, sexuality, bodies, and relationships and connect with the larger community, own your story, connect to a greater meaning.
Week 10: Wrap Up & Celebrate
Guidance, support, and coaching by an experienced and credentialed gender and certified sex therapist for the length of the program with opportunity for continued engagement after the program, along with support from other qualified coaches and your peers
Welcome/Introduction video and checklist- explains how program works and how to use it to make the most of it
One weekly group coaching Call. If you can’t make it, DOn’t worry! It’s recorded!
One 1-on-1 coaching call with Rae
Weekly Video related to framework (I give homework!)
Weekly Newsletter related to content with action and accountability steps
membership site so you can build community right away
Access to a growing resource library that includes Resources related to medical transition, finding affirming providers, coping skills, media recommendations
Frequently Asked Questions
+ WHO NEEDS THIS?
This program is for Transgender/Non-Binary/Questioning folks who are experiencing anxiety, uncertainty, and self-doubt about exploring/transitioning their gender identity and expression that is impacting their relationships, career, and life. This is for folks in any “stage” of transition that are still struggling with aspects of their identity or transition. Hiding who they are is wearing on them and they want to be able to feel comfortable in their own skin. They tend to be riddled with limiting beliefs and thoughts that aren’t serving them but don’t know how to get out of those negative feedback loops. They want to their authentic selves in the world, but more than that, they just want to be. But they don’t know how to get there. They feel isolated and like they don’t have the social support they need and online forums (cough, reddit, cough) are only getting them so far. They’re scared about how transitioning will affect their current and future relationships. They are dealing with internalized shame. They don’t know how to make decisions or cope with coming out, social transition, and/or medical transition. They have a constant flow of “what if..?” going through their head and are fucking tired. They want things to feel easier. Lighter. They want to feel a sense of confidence and ease with themselves.
I work best with people who are insightful about themselves, action-oriented, flexible in their thinking, value emotional intelligence, and have a clear transformation/goals in mind. Folks I’ve worked with have described themselves with many of the following words: driven, mindful, artistic/creative, entrepreneurial, social justice warriors, s*x-positive, witchy.
Does this resonate with you? Then you’re in the right place.
+ I’M BUSY. I BARELY HAVE TIME TO READ A BOOK, LET ALONE SOMETHING LIKE THIS.
Let’s make the time. Really. You can’t mess around with this stuff. Creating space for your own growth as a human isn’t optional, it’s mandatory. And this must be a priority–because if you don’t pay attention to this now, it will take up a lot more of your brainspace later on. So many of my clients reflect on the fact that focusing on their gender identity and expression now has freed up so much of their brainspace as they move through transition so that they can do all the other stuff they’ve been putting off because their brains haven’t had the capacity for it. Transition isn’t the point! Seeing what life holds when you live it as the most authentic version of yourself is. And you are worth prioritizing. It’s that simple.
+ WILL I STILL NEED A THERAPIST–OR WILL THIS COVER ALL OF MY NEEDS?
I’m going to give you the typical therapist/coach answer and say, “It depends!” While I am a licensed therapist, I’m not your therapist since this is a coaching and not a therapeutic program. I’m always in favor of everyone having a therapist and think it’s a great way to continue to grow as a human. This program is designed to be a great adjunct to therapy. Some folks in GenderFck may need to have a local, individual therapist to help them navigate concerns that are outside the scope of the group, including but not limited to PTSD, trauma, thoughts of self-harm, and severe anxiety or depression.
+ WHAT HAPPENS ONCE I PURCHASE AND FILL OUT THE APPLICATION?
I’ll review your application within 36 hours. If I think you’re a great fit, you’ll be automatically enrolled. If I have questions, I’ll schedule a call with you to clarify. If I don’t think you’re a great fit, I’ll refund your money and try to send some resources your way.
Once you’re approved, you’ll get a confirmation email and some paperwork. You can expect a welcome email about a week before the course and access to the content starting the week of the course.
+ WHAT’S THE FORMAT? IS THIS A COURSE?
Yes and no. It’s a one-of-a-kind, research-based, 10-week online group coaching program. There are 10 modules of content to go with the 10 weeks of the program, but it’s so much more than a self-paced course (you know, the ones you buy and never do/finish). GenderFck provides lots of touch points for connection with Rae through coaching and in the private group for cohort members, as well as an intentionally supportive community from day one. There’s video content, a growing resource library, and worksheets for homework. Plus whatever surprises we have for you along the way!
+ WILL I GET ACCESS TO EVERYTHING AT ONCE?
You’ll get access to the membership site with the growing resource library and the member Facebook group right away so you can start connecting. The video content and newsletters (along with your homework assignments), as well as the weekly group coaching, will be delivered to you weekly.
You can book your one-on-one with Rae for anytime during the 10-week program.
+ WHEN ARE THE COACHING CALLS? WHAT IF I CAN’T MAKE IT?
Don't worry! If you can’t join live, you’ll have a chance to submit your questions beforehand and can watch the replay.
+ How much does GenderFck cost?
Great question! I did a lot of soul-searching about what to charge for this program and, after talking with lots of friends, coaches, and my own therapist (fraudy feelings anyone?), I came to a number that allows me to have a small enough cohort size that me and my team can give each participant the personal attention and care that I believe they need to get the result they want. I’m keeping the program small in order to be able to truly go deep with folks in the way I want in a way that is also sustainable for me as a therapist and a coach. I’m committed to bringing my best self to the work which means that I’m budgeting in what I need to create a business model that allows time for learning, rest, self-care, and growth. It also accounts for the price of tech, support staff, and additional coaches.
This means that for me to be in integrity and deliver the level of support and service that I want, GenderFck costs $500-750 for this beta launch, depending on payment-in-full vs a payment plan.
This level of support and content is valued at over $3,000 if you were to have a therapist or coach provide one-on-one services for you at this level. Wild, huh?
+ Do you offer discounts?
In order to provide a service that is as accessible as possible and also sustainable for me to run, I don't offer discounts on the GenderFck program.
+ "I can't afford it"
That’s super real. And I don’t want to minimize any financial limitations that are happening for you right now. I created a payment plan so that you can secure your spot for just $250 to try to make the program more accessible for folks, but I understand that number feels out of reach for some. If GenderFck is something you really want to do, I want to stand beside you and cheer you on and say, “Let’s figure this shit out!” I’ve had clients who got creative to pay for transition-related costs in some of the following ways: selling some things they no longer need/want, performing a service in person or online for extra dollars (ex: transcribing, handyman things, music or art classes, or any number of other things. Check out Upwork, TaskRabbit or Fivrr for ideas), setting up a GoFundMe and asking for help, and lots of others. It may not be possible for you right this second, but are there resources you could utilize more fully to help you meet your goals? Let me know your ideas!
+ When does GenderFck start?
GenderFck is slated to start in early fall
+ What is your refund policy?
GenderFck has a no-refund policy. I take great care in only accepting folks into the program that I believe will truly benefit from the work. Because of the small cohort size and intimate feel of the group I want folks 100% in from day one. I've found that offering an "out" keeps folks from really investing in themselves and the process right away.